I am now Lady Lurkington.
I have an affinity for animal hides and war paint, with braids in my hair and feathers in my braids.
I lurk the night on a black horse.
I smoke only Gitanes Blondes cigarettes and let the smoke curl around my abnormally small fingers embellished in gold rings. My hand is complete with a mangled pinky finger that got ravished in a wild cougar encounter in the mountains of Transylvania.
I roll with my co-captain, Lord Lurkington.
The Clyde to my Bonnie.
He carries a cane and wears a monacle and cape combo.
When he is feeling noble, he puts on an academic suit and writes haiku + occasional novella.
We have an elderly foul-mouthed female assistant who happens to be a hunchback.
She acts as the official bag carrier and beverage stand (hence the hump).
We combine our stellar forces to strike fear and jealousy into the hearts of our nemisises.
Now you know.
And knowing is half the battle...
xoxo.
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